Feed Your Ex to a Meerkat on Valentine’s Day

Valentine’s Day isn’t just for sharing chocolate and flowers, it’s also  a time for feeding your ex to a meerkat. Zoos are  offering exes a chance to name cockroaches and other vermin after their departed partners.

“Did your ex-partner, boss, or bestie really make 2022 difficult?” asks the San Antonio Zoo. For a modest donation, you can exact a bit of revenge by naming a cockroach, rodent, or vegetable after the ex. The zoo’s Cry Me a Cockroach Fundraiser supports its wildlife conservation programs in Texas and beyond.

Not to be outdone in the Lone Star State, the El Paso Zoo is once again touting its Quit Bugging Me campaign. Donors can purchase a Madagascar hissing cockroach, give it the name of their be-hated, and the zookeepers will feed it to “iguanas, skinks, and of course, our meerkat mob as they chomp down on these juicy bugs.”

There are so many spite-filled zoo fundraisers CBS News felt the need to do a roundup. The Bronx Zoo has a Name A Roach fund drive, Lehigh Valley Zoo in Pennsylvania has their annual Bug Off, Toronto does Name-a-Roach, and at the Maui Humane Society, you can have a litter box named after your insignificant other for $10 (donate by February 14 and “our cats will do the rest”).

If you’re less into supporting animals than exacting revenge on a former something-or-other, you can enter a chance to put their hated name on a bright green commercial garbage bin. “Is your ex Rubbish a real piece of trash?” asks Business Waste of Wales.  

Rhetorical question, really.

Photo credit: Bronx Zoo / World Conservation Society